What It Is That We Do

  What It Is That We Do (WIITWD): Exploring Kink Beyond the Vanilla

The phrase What It Is That We Do (WIITWD) is a broad term used within the BDSM and kink community to describe sexual practices that fall outside traditional or “vanilla” experiences. Rather than labeling a specific act, WIITWD serves as a respectful, inclusive way to discuss alternative sexual lifestyles without judgment or stereotype.

People use this phrase to acknowledge the diversity of erotic expression—everything from bondage and dominance to sensory play and role reversal. It reflects a community built on consent, awareness, and mutual pleasure, where boundaries are explored safely and intentionally.

For many, WIITWD represents not only a type of activity but also a mindset—one that values communication, freedom, and emotional honesty. It celebrates sexuality as something personal, complex, and deeply individual.

Beyond Vanilla: The Meaning of Exploration

WIITWD stands as a reminder that sexual exploration can exist beyond mainstream expectations. While “vanilla” relationships tend to focus on conventional intimacy, those who engage in WIITWD view sexuality through the lens of creativity and trust.

Participants often emphasize the emotional depth that comes from open communication, negotiation, and consent. These principles form the foundation of healthy BDSM practices, ensuring that experiences are pleasurable, empowering, and mutually fulfilling.

In essence, WIITWD is not about what’s done—it’s about how and why it’s done. It’s a shared understanding that intimacy can be both playful and profound, physical yet deeply emotional.

  FAQ

What does WIITWD stand for?
WIITWD means “What It Is That We Do.” It’s a phrase used within BDSM communities to describe alternative sexual practices beyond the traditional or “vanilla” lifestyle.

Why do people say WIITWD instead of BDSM?
People use WIITWD to refer to a wide range of kink or power-based dynamics without labeling them strictly as BDSM. It’s a more inclusive and discreet way to talk about such practices.

Is WIITWD only about sex?
Not always. WIITWD can include emotional, psychological, and power-based dynamics. It often focuses on connection, trust, and mutual consent rather than just physical acts.

What makes WIITWD different from a vanilla relationship?
Unlike vanilla relationships, WIITWD dynamics involve structured power exchange, role-play, or sensation-based play. The focus is on exploration, communication, and consent.

Is WIITWD safe?
Yes, when practiced responsibly. WIITWD is guided by principles like Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) or Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK), ensuring that all activities are agreed upon and respectful.